Thirst for empathy

When someone shares with us a struggle that they’re encountering, it’s similar to someone telling us they’re thirsty.

Telling the first person how to fix their problem when they didn’t ask for your advice is like throwing water at the thirsty person when they’re not looking.

Coaching or guiding them with questions is like holding a full glass and letting them reach out to grab it for themselves.

Listening, reflecting and helping them feel understood is like watching them find a wellspring within themselves.

We are all thirsty.

We each have a well within us from which we can nourish our own need for empathy. Mastering the skill of self-empathy is at the heart of being present in the moments when it matters most. It starves conflict of half the energy and transforms the health of relationships.

Whether you’re a partner, parent, or professional, learning to drink from your own well prepares you for the inevitable, and hopefully rare, visits to the empathy-deserts hidden within the tropical rainforests of love, child-rearing, and running a business.

It’s worth acknowledging that it’s not easy to give ourselves empathy…

And drinking is often better with company.