Dear FedEx guy

You and I have been together for years. It’s been a good run. I’d even be willing to keep growing together, but I feel nervous that we’re on the rocks.

If we’re going to make this work, I have a request that you must consider. It’s a small thing, but it would mean a lot to me. Please stop sitting in your driver seat and twisting your spine to slide your 100lb door closed after every delivery.

I know it seems insignificant, but it feels like a tiny cut every time you do it and I don’t want this to add up to a gaping wound that separates us.

If you can stop this insult, start stabilizing your core with breath, and start using the powerful muscles in your hips and shoulders, I think we have a chance at a long life together.

With love and hope,

Your Quality of Life

PS: I also want to mention your diet, but I don’t want to nag. Let’s talk about it over dinner tonight.