Boogers

If you have a nose, and it is in working order, you will get boogers.

If you have friendships, and they are in working order, your friends will tell you when you have boogers.

This is because friends care. When they notice something that threatens your well-being, like a booger threatens the sincerity of a heartfelt monologue, they tell you. They don’t pick it for you. They don’t even say it’s wrong. They just make you aware of it and you choose what to do about it.

Imagine having this same kind of support in the other areas of life where you don’t see that you’re getting in your own way. The equivalents of a booger in your life can be:

Having stains on your clothes where you can’t see them.

Forgetting to follow through on a small promise that you don’t remember promising.

Making health decisions that impact your ability to show up present to events that are important to you.

These insults can seem insignificant, but ultimately we are either building trust or breaking it. We are either demonstrating reliability or not. We are either becoming the person who always has boogers that distract people from seeing us or we are being seen for the work we do and the care we give.

Trusted relationships are an important feedback system for how we are perceived by the world. While it is very helpful to see the boogers in our lives, its also important not to use friends as crutches. This weakens us over time.

Set your standards. Decide whether boogers are acceptable to you or not. If not, check your mirror, find the holes in your game, and do something about it.

Your friends will help with the ones you miss.