Either-or… both

I hear a common thread among friends and colleagues related to wanting a focused connection with family or peers instead of explaining choices related to diet.

Reasons mentioned have been that the people we care about won’t understand, it will take to much energy, and it will distract from the quality of connection.

I deal with this with family most regularly. What has helped me is the following thought.

The most common time for anaphylactic death is early teenage years because the kids don’t want to be different, don’t want to have to explain themselves, and just want to connect with their peers.

The kids with allergies become less diligent and put themselves at risk. However, if they otherwise advocate for themselves regularly and people see that it is not just a diet or fad, the people who care adapt. The other kids start reading ingredients before buying certain foods if their friend will be around, the parties thrown by that group of friends will be peanut-free (insert allergen), and the effort required in advance lessens over time.

This is an extreme example and one that’s near to me as my son has a severe allergy to peanuts …and Monica and I already experience fear thinking of him entering his teenage years when peer pressure and acceptance are such strong drivers of behavior.

I hope when he is presented with a situation where he wants to connect at a meal and he must choose to advocate for his health, he doesn’t think that it’s an either-or situation.