Posts Tagged ‘needs’
Thirst for empathy
When someone shares with us a struggle that they’re encountering, it’s similar to someone telling us they’re thirsty. Telling the first person how to fix their problem when they didn’t ask for your advice is like throwing water at the thirsty person when they’re not looking. Coaching or guiding them with questions is like holding…
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Feeling Full vs Inflamed
If you just ate a meal and think you’re full, notice where you feel the sensations of being full. Depending on where you feel the sensations, you might be confusing the feeling of full with the experience of being inflamed. When you’re full, your face is relaxed, the muscles of your arms and legs have…
Read MoreLoss
Amidst the steady nature of life, we all inevitably experience the time-stopping moment of a loss. We lose material items that we thought we needed. We lose jobs that we thought defined us. We lose loved ones who we thought we couldn’t live without. Then here we are… without them. In the first moments, it…
Read MoreThe hierarchy of mastery
Like progressing through Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs toward self- actualization, a professional ascends a hierarchy of skillsets on their way toward creating their works of art, sharing their masterpieces, or delivering their unparalleled service. As it goes with Maslow’s needs, mastery of the lower fundamental levels unlocks and sustains possibility to perform at higher…
Read MoreNobody can make you feel
Nobody can make you feel wrong. Nobody can make you feel stupid. Nobody can make you feel. You’re more powerful than that. 1) You notice someone do something. 2) Your mind gives meaning to what they did and determines if it contributes to your life, or doesn’t. 3) Then you feel. When you take ownership…
Read MoreGetting cut-off from the flows
The quintessential example of the modern day saber-toothed tigers is the person who cut you off in traffic. To understand why the nervous system responds with such intensity to this act, you have to become interested in the needs involved. Driving involves forcing a mass of metals to travel at velocity. It’s inherently powerful. Need…
Read MoreThe Weak End
When starting a new diet, the easiest part is typically the first few days that lead up to the first weekend (aka the “weak end”). This is when you start to think, “this diet is hard.” In the days leading up to the ” weak end”, we have the structure and routine of our work…
Read MoreContribution
When your ancestors traveled in tribes, it’s hard to believe that the equivalent of the modern day couch potato would have been allowed to suck up resources without contributing to the lives of the other tribe members. Multiply this over millennia and you have the need for contribution built-in as a survival mechanism to the…
Read MoreThr heroics of empathy
Two people in a conversation are standing in almost the exact same place in the world with almost the exact same set of environmental influences on their internal experience of the moment. Both people are looking into the other person’s eyes. Both of them are squinting. Both have a furroughed brow. One of them has…
Read MoreThe 90-second phenomenon
A three-year-old throws a tantrum about not wanting to go to sleep. He lies in bed wailing about wanting to do a laundry list of other things instead of getting rest. Each time the thought of sleeping re-enters his mind, a new emotional action potential spreads throughout his physiology. The boy’s dad lies with him…
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