The 90-second phenomenon

A three-year-old throws a tantrum about not wanting to go to sleep. He lies in bed wailing about wanting to do a laundry list of other things instead of getting rest. Each time the thought of sleeping re-enters his mind, a new emotional action potential spreads throughout his physiology.

The boy’s dad lies with him and says to him, “you can do all of the things on your list, right after you get some sleep.”

The moment the word “sleep” left his mouth, the crashing cascade of crying began anew. After recognizing the pattern, Dad changes his technique and begins telling the boy a story that has nothing to do with going to sleep. The story avoids words like rest, recuperation, nap, and anything close to what the dad hoped would occur. The stimulus was removed. How long did the story last before the boy fell asleep?

90-seconds.

How long do the chemicals, hormones, and neurotransmitters that deliver the the messages of an emotion course through our body and brain?

90 seconds.

Much of the brain matures and adapts as we grow up. However, regardless of emotional intelligence or age, the mechanism of the 90 second phenomenon remains. It is the source of all vicious emotional cycles and the greatest opportunity to end them.