Questions from The Trust Workshop:
What strategies help you build a lot of energy, when you feel empty but really need to be present very soon?
First I’d like to distinguish between strategy and tactic.
A strategy describes where we are trying to go and how we’re going to get there, while a tactic is a specific action we take along the way.
My strategy when I’m low energy is to do what I can to find presence with myself in order to create space to see the human in me and in those I am trying to connect with.
The tactic I often use is the 90sec rule.
If I feel triggered and I can’t work myself through it consciously with words and can’t remove myself from the situation, I will either silently breathe and count to 90 or I will request from the other person, “can I please have a couple minutes to re-center myself?”
The neurotransmitters and chemicals that are released in the fight or flight state of most unenjoyable emotions will only last 90 seconds if they’re not triggered again.
So in the moment of being triggered I may blame the other person for the emotion I am experiencing. Obviously come of this is my triggered mind making this decision. However, if after 90 seconds I am still feeling triggered, I have trained myself to realize that this new cycle is because I have chosen to think in a way that triggered myself.