Presence is a practice.

Presence and mindfulness must be cultivated.

There are nerves and muscles to be trained for creating space within yourself. Here’s an exercise you can do. It is best enjoyed with a loved one, even if that means looking yourself in the mirror.

Sit across from your partner.

Take one bite of dark chocolate. And get the expensive stuff so the placebo is in full effect. This part is important: Don’t chew. You are not a robot and this is not robot food.

Once the chocolate is in your mouth, start a timer for five minutes.

One bite. No chewing. Five minutes.

Now, lock eyes with and keep your gaze and attention on your partner. Notice the changing sensations as flavors of the chocolate are released. Focus on the texture of the softening bar. Bring attention to the accumulating moisture in your mouth. Notice how you feel in the presence of all this sensation.

Find your breath, infused with the chocolate’s aroma.

Sample your gaze, infused with the gaze of the other.

What do you notice?

There is no right answer here. The answer you come up with, however, is an answer. It provides a little more clarity. Perhaps it stimulates a few more questions.

This is practicing presence.

As a kind reminder, practice doesn’t make perfect. If perfection exists, you’re already perfect. Practice brings awareness to the power of cause and effect.

And presence is a noble cause and has powerful effects. Bon appétit.