Finding presence

Lying in bed trying to fall asleep.

Holding my son when he cries at night.

Floating in the moment before I adjust someone after learning that they had just lost a parent.

There are many moments in life that are made better when experienced with presence. And by no accident these are the most difficult moments for presence to be found.

Train presence in the moments between these moments so you can hold the space needed when they arrive.

The most effective way I have found to facilitate presence begins with listening.

Close your eyes and hear all the things happening around you as if you were listening to music. Avoid labeling the individual sounds and try to blend all of it to one stimulus.

Then turn your attention to your internal environment. Notice that kinesthetic buzz of blood rushing through your veins, the subtle sensations of pressure where you are sitting standing or lying against a surface. The not so silent sound of thoughts as they enter your consciousness, hang around for a few moments, and then float away.

Avoid labeling, naming, or judging any of the sensations or words you’re choosing to speak to yourself AKA thoughts.

Like you had previously for your external environment, now combine all the sensations, thoughts, and happenings of your internal environment so that they also blend into one stimulus.

Once you can perceive your external environment and your internal environment, the final step is to focus on your breathing which is like the tide of the external environments washing upon the shore of your internal environment. When you can, through breath, combine all that is happening around you with all that is happening within you and find that the breath happens through you rather than from you, you are in a meditative state.

Visit this place often.

Each time, you leave a few breadcrumbs that form a trail you can spot more easily when the fog of stress and criticality appear.